Z is for Zeal.

During the worst of my anxiety and depression, I lost zeal for life. I became a shell of a human being. I existed from the rawest edges of my being. Everything felt awful. Everything felt overwhelming. Everything felt like a lose/lose situation. Hope was hard to find. Love was difficult to embrace. The only way I could keep going was to focus on what I did have control over: how I treated others. Even though I did not have a good relationship with myself, I knew how to be present with others. I made it my job to make sure people, all people, felt seen, heard and loved.

During my darkest time, I prayed that what I was going through would be purposeful. I prayed that the pain, sadness, fear and loneliness would be used to teach me and heal me so that I could someday help others. I prayed for strength to keep going and to someday find myself in the Light I knew was somewhere, waiting for me, rooting for me.

By doing my inner work, I began to develop zeal for life again. I found purpose and reason for being. The one Truth that changed everything was realizing, believing, and embracing that “I am a Child of God”. For a long time, that was the only good thing I could say about myself and the only thing I knew for certain. It took time, but by choosing to keep putting one foot in front of the other, I moved forward. I rebuilt myself, my purpose, and my life. I was able to uncover, embrace, and believe in everything I was instead of giving power to everything I was not.

Now, I have no doubt in who I am and whose I am. The Truth is my foundation and it gives me purpose and zeal for life.

May you find The Truth that gives you zeal for your life now and always.

Y is for Yoga.

Yoga has helped me reconnect with my body, my center, and my breath, time and time again. There have been multiple instances when I have cried on the yoga mat, finally finding the release and inner peace I have been aching for. After doing yoga, I often find myself wanting to write, dream, and create; finding my heart open to new possibilities of hope and love. Yoga leads me back to my breath, which connects me to my core and roots me back into my center. Yoga grounds me, bringing awareness to my body and reminding me how everything, and everyone, is connected.

There are multiple ways to find inner alignment: nature, music, running, drawing, writing, being active, laying still, spending time with someone who knows your heart, spending time alone. The way to inner alignment is unique to each of us. So whatever way you find works for you, remember that it may not work for others. Even if the way is similar, the details may be different. We mustn’t impose our way, but instead allow room for others to find their way and support what works best for them.

Whenever I don’t feel like myself, I know that yoga is one of the best ways for me to reconnect with my body, my breath, and the innermost part of my being. It’s an opportunity, an exercise, a practice, to get my mind, body and soul into alignment in order to be my best self and to fully be me again.

Whatever your yoga is, find it and utilize it. Make sure to carve out time to realign yourself whenever you need it and however often you need it.

X is for Exhale.

With everything that weighs on us, sometimes we forget to fully exhale. We forget to fully let things go. So often we feel as though we need to hold everything in tight to protect ourselves. But that only creates tension and hurts us more.

Whatever you are holding on to, whatever you are holding tight inside, whatever it is that hurts so deep you’re afraid to breathe into it, go there and release it. Allow yourself to fully expand into everything you are and exhale everything that you are not.

Exhale the worry.

Exhale the pain.

Exhale what is out of your control.

Exhale the fear.

Exhale the doubt.

Exhale what does not support you.

Exhale into the Arms of Love.

Exhale into the Light of Hope.

Exhale into the Gloriousness and Authenticity of You.

W is for Willingness.

My willingness is what saved me from anxiety and depression. My willingness to get help. My willingness to speak my truth. My willingness to go to therapy. My willingness to talk it through. My willingness to try medication. My willingness to be open about my triggers. My willingness to be honest when I knew a strategy wouldn’t work. My willingness to share what I was thinking and feeling with those closest to me who could see me through.

If I had shut down or had shut people out. There would not have been a chance for me to find my way out. My willingness to keep going even when I didn’t want to. To get out of bed, to go to work, to interact with people, to eat nourishing food. Everything was difficult during that time, so my willingness for anything was actually how I survived. If I had given up or hadn’t seen the point, it would have been easy to stop caring and completely numb out my life.

So at least with willingness, there are glimmers of hope. To keep trying and trying until something catches on. The willingness to fight. The willingness to be open. The willingness to try another day when everything feels hopeless.

Our willingness is truly what keeps us going. Our willingness to wonder, to engage, to question. Our willingness to be curious and participate in discussion of what really matters and where we invest our energy. So as long as there is willingness, there’s a crack in the door of opportunity, of Light and the Love we all deserve.

-

Our willingness is a key factor in allowing change to happen.

Our willingness to be wrong.

Our willingness to be right.

Our willingness to try again and again without getting defensive or starting a fight.

Our willingness to have conversations.

Our willingness to mature.

Our willingness to listen to what’s being said and not what we heard.

We need willingness to learn.

We need willingness to grow.

We need willingness to admit when we’re unsure or don’t know.

If all of us would bring our willingness to the table,

Who knows what we could accomplish, address, and dismantle.

V is for Voice.

We all have a voice, and we all have freedom in how we use it.

We can use it for good.

We can use it to complain.

We can use it to support.

We can use it to defame.

We can use it to defend.

We can use it to blame.

We can use it to uplift.

We can use it to degrade.

Our voice has the power to create change for ourselves and for others.

Our voice has the power to interrupt a pattern that needs to be shattered.

Our voice can be a catalyst to go in a new direction.

Our voice can offer opportunities to stop, think, and cause reflection.

Our voice can intervene to keep us from doing something we’ll regret.

Our voice can be the encouragement to keep going and never look back.

Some of us speak up, loud and deliberate.

Some of us speak softly with purpose and precision.

Some of us write and articulate with a pen.

Some of us paint when words cannot express.

Some of us dance and communicate through movement.

Some of us create music and let our voice be our instrument.

You choose the way in which you use your voice.

It is uniquely yours and yours alone.

No one else has your sound, your timbre, your tone.

Your expression, your phrasing, your style is your own.

Play around with its range and all it can do.

Lean into the resonance that is uniquely you.

V is for Voice.

When I was in the depths of anxiety and depression, I lost my voice. I was afraid to speak. I was afraid of being heard. I was afraid of being misheard. I chose to retreat and not speak unless I absolutely had to. I was extremely cautious of my words. I believed every single word had an impact and I had to use them wisely and carefully. This created more anxiety than I was already in and pushed me into a kind of existence I would never wish for anyone.

During this time, I had to go to voice therapy to recover my voice. I wasn’t using enough air to support the vibrations of my vocal cords. My lack of air came from being afraid of breathing too deep. I believed that if I breathed too deep it would hurt. I was afraid my breath would reach a place in me I was trying to avoid. A place of hurt, pain and sadness. If I took shallow breaths, it wouldn’t hurt so much, so that’s what I did. Breathing shallow allowed me to protect myself from breathing into the full expanse of who I was at that time, broken, anxious and depressed. I was in survival mode. I was a shell of myself; a shell of my voice.

As I began to heal, the strength came back to my voice through the support of my lungs. I was able to breathe deep again. I was able to support the full vibration of my voice. I was able to connect deep and live again from my true center. My voice became clear and the protection around each word began to fall. I started to feel more free and it reflected in my voice. Getting a hold of anxiety and depression made room for my voice to resonate freely.

My voice means a lot to me as a singer and as a writer. Knowing who am and believing in the strength of my voice has guided me in a new direction of my life. Now I make it a habit of keeping my inner voice strong. It guides me, protects me, encourages me, and loves me. That wasn’t always the case, but I fought my way to realign myself with the One True Voice who loves me and believes in only the good of who I am.

U is for Unity.

Unity is coming together for the sake of a cause.

Unity is working in harmony for a greater purpose.

Working in harmony allows the uniqueness of various notes,

While interweaving them together to make one glorious voice.

Unity asks us to blend into one sound

Of multiple layers, textures, colors, and tones.

Unity does not ask us to lose our identities.

Instead, it allows us the space to be who we are, what we believe in, and fight for, in solidarity.

Unity is a support system all of its own.

It creates something more beautiful and more powerful than we could ever do alone.

By joining our light we only get brighter,

And the burdens we carry become lighter and lighter.

Unity builds strength.

Unity builds hope.

Unity sheds light in the places that need growth.

Unity is tricky.

Unity is complex.

Unity is a voice for those who have no voice left.

Unity is required for forward motion.

For progress, for peace, for protecting each other.

Unity is what we need when our hearts hurt the most,

When we need a reminder that we’re never alone.

Unity comes together and rises above

The pain and the struggle and conquers with Love.

T is for Truth.

I deeply believe that the Truth will set you free:

The Truth of who you are,

The Truth of your situation,

The Truth of who you are meant to be.

When you step into the Light of the Truth,

Your path will be revealed.

When you trust in the Power of the Truth,

Your heart will be strengthened, renewed and healed.

When you believe in the Goodness of the Truth,

Your soul will be covered, filled, and nourished with Love.

The Truth is the pathway for a meaningful life.

The Truth is where the power of purpose resides.

The Truth allows all things Good to blossom and flourish in ways we never knew before.

S is for Surrender.

Surrender is letting go of control.

Surrender is allowing Love to flow.

Surrender is giving space to be yourself.

Surrender is loving everyone as themselves.

Surrender is admitting you don’t know it all.

Surrender is allowing yourself room to fall.

Surrender is strength when you feel weak.

Surrender is tears when words won’t speak.

Surrender allows us the space to move on.

Surrender reminds us we’re never alone.

Surrender is love when we want to fight.

Surrender is light in the dark of the night.

Surrender is how we move out of our way.

Surrender is how we know there’s a new day.

We trust in ourselves and the power within.

That all will be okay when we let Love win.

R is for Relationships.

Relationships are how we connect. It is how we grow. It is how we learn.

Having relationships is how we build communities, teams, families, and friend groups. When we think of relationships, we often think of how we relate with others. But we also have relationships with ourselves. The relationships we have with ourselves is arguably the most important because it is the foundation, the blueprint, of how we operate in all other relationships. Therefore, it is important to invest in your relationship with yourself so you can be fully present in your needs, desires, dreams, faults, hangups, and triggers so that you can be fully present and fully you in all other relationships.

When we don’t invest in ourselves and only give to others, we lose ourselves.

When we don’t invest in others and only give to ourselves, we lose others.

When we don’t realize that balance is needed in any kind of relationship, we risk losing it all.

Nothing is ever perfect. Nothing is ever 50/50.

But when we can recognize when time, energy and focus is needed where, we can grow, connect, learn, develop, and heal in all kinds of relationships.

Q is for Quiet.

We live in a world where it is getting harder and harder to be in a space where it is quiet. Where our minds are quiet and our souls can be still. We are surrounded and consumed by noise, background noise, and internal noise. Quiet has become uncomfortable and noise has become a state of being.

Being alone in the quiet can be terrifying.

Being with others in the quiet can be awkward.

But it is often in the quiet, when we are able to hear our Truth.

If we do not allow time and space for quiet in our lives,

The noise will overwhelm us and overtake us.

In the quiet, we can reconnect with who we are, what we believe in, and what matters to us. The quiet allows us space to explore, face our fears, and embrace who we really are. Be intentional about turning down the noise in your life so you can hear what your heart is whispering to you.

P is for Passion.

Passion is a driving force in our lives. It can drive us towards people, places and things that are good for us. And it can drive us towards people, places and things that are bad for us. So when we feel passion, we must ask ourselves, does this passion align with the goodness that resides within me? Or does it pull me farther away?

To find our passion, we must find what sets our soul on fire. It’s what lights us up and what we cannot get enough of. It’s what we find ourselves thinking about, talking about and sharing the most.

Passion can emerge in many different ways. It can be art, science, politics, technology, religion, dance, movies, history, music, books, video games, gardening, podcasts, cooking, teaching, investing, creating, building, organizing, communicating…the list can go on and on. Our passions may not look the same as someone else’s, but that’s okay. It’s meant to be that way.

Each of our passions are needed to bring more Light and Love into the world. If your passion drives you towards sharing the Love and Light that resides in the depths of each of us, it’s needed. And it is important to honor yours and honor others’, because they all come from the same source. Once you find what your passion is, hone it, share it and follow it. It’s needed. And so are you.

O is for Open.

Being open to new thoughts, ideas and mindsets is one of the best ways we can offer space for ourselves to grow. When we remain open to other opinions, thought processes, experiences, we open a door to new ways of communication, understanding and empathy.

Being open is allowing others to be themselves. Being open is being willing to see from someone else’s point of view. Being open is providing a space for people to speak without being in fear of judgment, to share what’s on their hearts without having fear of being turned away. Being open is to be vulnerable. Being open is to take risks. Being open is being willing to love without conditions.

Being open is allowing ourselves the space to grow and learn new things. Being open is allowing ourselves to forgive ourselves. To give ourselves grace. To give ourselves room to make mistakes. Being open is being willing to say things like “I was wrong” or “I don’t know”. Being open can open up a whole new world of Love, acceptance, and peace that you might have never known before. Be willing to be open to something new.

N is for Need.

Figuring out what you need comes with self-reflection. Taking time to get to know yourself better. Taking time to listen internally and really hear what your soul is whispering to you…

“I need a break.”

“I need rest.”

“I need a hug.”

“I need space.”

“I need a friend.”

“I need time.”

“I need love.”

“I need to be heard.”

“I need to be understood.”

Knowing how to help yourself/your soul/your being with what you need is an act of self-care. Being able to communicate what you need to those you are in a relationship with strengthens your relationships and allows space for them to communicate their needs as well. When anyone is able to meet each other at the depths of their needs, that is where true compassion, understanding, connection, and empathy occurs. It is where growth can happen. It is where rest can happen. It is where trust is developed and a safe place is shared.

When we know what we need, we can create healthy boundaries for ourselves. We can protect ourselves from giving away our time and energy to people and activities that do not support us. We can give, rather than be taking from. Knowing and responding to what you need can change your life from the inside out.

M is for Mindset.

Mindset is a powerful thing and can make all the difference. Once I learned and accepted that I was in control of my thoughts, rather than them being in control of me, things started to change. I used to think that my feelings were driving my thoughts, and was always trying to fix my feelings. But once I learned that my thoughts were occurring before my feelings, I started to pay attention to my thoughts more. When learning how to be an observer of my thoughts, I learned how to interrupt, shift and make different choices within my thought patterns.

Our mindset is within our power. At times it can feel like it isn’t. But the truth is that it is and always will be. It was a tough lesson to learn when anxiety and depression were overwhelming, but learning and accepting the truth (that the power is within me to make the change in my thoughts) eventually became freeing.

I learned that different mindsets are needed for different scenarios. A mindset of gratitude may be needed when it feels like nothing is going right. A mindset of acceptance may be needed when resisting a difficult season. A mindset of forgiveness may be needed when feeling wronged. I learned that whatever the scenario is, my mindset will be the determining factor. It will be my guide. It will set the tone and affect the energy within me and around me. My mindset is my choice and can make all the difference in my experiences and my outcomes.

We each have the power to choose our mindset in every situation, interaction, feeling, and moment. Are we always able to? No. Do we always succeed at doing it? Absolutely not. But with practice and awareness we can learn how to interrupt our thought patterns, make different choices in our thoughts, and gain control of where our thoughts go. When we connect to our power within, we can learn how to create mindsets rooted in Love and Light that can change how we see and experience life.

Mindset is everything.

L is for Love.

Love is the strongest and greatest force in our lives. It heals all things. Saves all things. Renews all things. It offers life again and again if we are willing to embrace it, believe in it and be it.

Love is the force that saved me when I believed I was worthless and had nothing to offer. Once I learned how to love myself, I was able to start overcoming the fears that were restraining me from living the Truest version of myself: a self defined and rooted in Love.

When struggling with anxiety and depression, you are living in fear. Every thought that starts with, or resembles the tone of, “what if” is fear based. These thoughts are not worth entertaining because they will only result in more fear, overwhelming you with more anxiety and sinking you into a deeper depression, making it so much harder to feel, see and accept Love.

To work my way through anxiety and depression, I had to learn to love myself. Love myself even if I made a mistake. Love myself even if I made the “wrong” decision. Love myself even if I couldn’t list a single reason why I deserved to be loved. Fear is a strong force, but Love is so much stronger. I learned that we can only experience the greatness of Love when we choose to step into it, embrace it, live it and be it. Only by creating and embracing more room for Love do we push fear out.

So in every breath, every thought, every interaction, every situation, find ways to let Love grow.

K is for Know.

What do you know? I am talking about when you know something to the depths of your core. Your heart, soul and mind are all in alignment and you can feel it resonate throughout every part of your being. Truly knowing something is much deeper than understanding it intellectually. It’s feeling it in your heart and being at peace with it in your soul.

Whatever you truly know, stay with it. Trust it. Don’t let anyone pull you away from it or tell you you’re wrong. When you know something, you know it deeply. It’s internal. It’s non-negotiable. It’s where your Truest Self lives and Eternal Love resides. It’s what informs you of who you are and who you’re meant to be.

What you truly know is powerful. Don’t ever downplay it. Lean into it, explore it, embrace it and share it. What you know is what makes you, you, and we need you.

J is for Journaling.

I have journals for all different kinds of purposes. I have kept journals since I was young. Sometimes I am really good at keeping up with them, and sometimes I am not. Sometimes a year can go by between journal entries. But that’s okay, because my journals are there when I need them, and that’s the point.

Over the years, I have found that journaling is the best way for me to sort out my thoughts and process my feelings. Journaling can reveal what I am really thinking/feeling and help me uncover why I am thinking/feeling what I am thinking/feeling. When journaling, I can lay out my thoughts, feelings, frustrations, joys, worries, fears, gratitude, hopes, dreams…you name it…without judgment. Whatever it is, I can just say what I need to say and release it.

By writing down my thoughts, I feel seen and heard. Even if I never share what I write with anyone else, the action of journaling allows me to set free what I have kept locked up inside. Journaling is a safe place to work out ideas and issues. It is a way to explore, create and discover.

Journaling is a way to get to know yourself better. It is a way to discover parts of yourself that are waiting to be discovered. Journaling can take you to the depths of your soul or to the expansion of your imagination. Journaling can help you tackle tough issues and help reassure you of who you are.

Journaling takes time, but it is never time wasted.

It takes being open and honest with yourself, which is the beauty of it.

Journaling can help you dream.

It can help you process.

It can help you grow.

Finding time to journal is a gift of Love to yourself, and then in turn a gift to others and the world.

Once you create room in your life to take care of you, you are filled to help others.

You are worth the time.

You are deserving of Love.

Journaling is just one tool.

I is for Inward.

The more work I do inward (at my core), the more I am at peace.

The more I am in balance.

The more I am able to love.

The more I am able to forgive.

So often we try to fix our problems, concerns and issues outwardly.

We act out.

We shout out.

We keep ourselves busy because it feels like we’re doing something to make progress.

But if we do not process,

Is there progress?

If we do not tap inward.

If we do not take time to

Pause,

Breathe deep,

Reflect.

If we do not sit with our hearts and ask ourselves how we are doing.

If we do not carve out moments to listen to our souls are whispering.

If we do not quiet our minds and find stillness in the swirling.

Then what are we doing?

If we do not go inward,

We will never truly be in touch with our True selves.

If we do not go inward,

We will never fully live our authentic lives.

If we do not go inward,

We will never live the way we were uniquely created to be.

Inward is where we do the work.

Inward is where our questions are answered.

Inward is where we find our healing.

Inward is where Truth thrives.

Inward is where we find our peace.

Inward is where Love is alive.

H is for healing.

There is so much healing needed in the world.

In our hearts.

In our minds.

In the depths of our souls.

As individuals.

As families.

As friends.

As communities.

As neighbors.

As enemies.

As colleagues.

As adversaries.

As children and grandchildren.

As parents and grandparents.

As siblings and cousins.

As uncles and aunts.

In every kind of relationship with ourselves and with others,

there’s healing that’s needed in all kinds of forms.

Healing takes patience.

It is a process that takes willing, active involvement of vulnerability, strength and surrender.

We cannot heal if we are not willing to be vulnerable.

We must take time to uncover and identify what hurts and where it hurts.

We have to connect to the strength that keeps us pursuing our healing path.

We must also be willing to surrender our pain.

Sometimes we become so familiar with our pain that we do not know how to live without it,

and therefore fear letting it go.

Then we are living in pain and in fear.

Two toxic traits that can keep us from healing.

Two toxic states that trap us in our pain.

But,

If we are willing to keep surrendering our pain through the healing process,

We can find a better way to live.

By uncovering our pain,

Exposing it to the light,

We allow ourselves to heal

So we can continue to grow.

Healing may take a long time, but the process is worth it.

There will be things to learn along the way and new perspectives to be gained.

All true healing begins from deep within.

Make sure to get to the root of your pain, so you can fully heal it.

I pray for healing for all of our hearts, minds and souls.

Whatever pain you may be carrying.

You do not need to carry it anymore.